Son in laws occupy a special position in Indian house holds. He is always welcomed as an important and special guest of the family and offered with choicest gifts, clothes, and food delicacies, whenever he visits his wife’s parental home. He addressed as Jamai in Hindi or Javai or pahuna literally meaning guest in rural Maharashtra in Marathi and Zavuim in Konkani. However, he is also a target of ridicule and the butt of many jokes . In Goa, a tiny state in western India there are many folktales dedicated to the Son-in law presenting him as foolish, greedy, outright ignorant, and even as a dullard and therefore a target of mockery.
Here is a story that gives an idea of the social jibes meted out to the son in law, subtly humiliating his position and unwarranted pride.
The son in law had arrived during lunch time and mother in law hurried to the kitchen to set up a menu. It happened to be a Monday, and the family followed the routine of a strictly vegetarian lunch on Monday’s . Since it was a vegetarian meal, the mother in law had cooked few additional dishes to satiate the palate of the son in law. The table was loaded with local varieties of traditional delicacies. Vegetarian dishes like Khatkhatem ( mixed vegetable stew), tambadi bhaji vegetable made of amaranth stalks freshly cut from the backyard garden, potato, lentils soups, raw mango curry, and pilau made out of best variety of basamati rice, along with side dishes in the form of chutneys, pickles, and salads were on the table along with the customary Sol kadhi or coconut milk curry. The son in law feasted on each and every dish lovingly served on to his plate. There was hardly any space left in his bulging tummy but his greed did not allow him to stop. And when he was about to belch, the mother in law came with a pot full of vermicelli payasam. “Try this son. Even gods can’t resist this sweet dish” she said trying to pour the sweet milky white porridge on to his plate.
Now the son in law had never seen or tasted vermicelli payasam before. He was repelled to see vermicelli that appeared like worms in the milk and shouted “ NO! I don’t like it Mother in law. Please excuse me.” blocking his hands over the plate . Confused and disappointed mother in law stopped midway, and quietly walked back to kitchen after serving others in the family. Son in law looked around and saw every one was happily relishing the dish served on their plates. “What is so special about this dish that even gods love it” he thought to himself.
Then he saw few drops of milk syrup had dripped on his palm. He looked around and quickly licked the syrup from his palm. “ Hmmm… this really tastes divine. He thought to himself as the taste lingered in his mouth. He thought regretfully “I should have listened to mother in law and eaten that sweet”. But it was too late.
Having gorged himself on all the dishes, son in law was feeling heavy and drowsy and headed straight to his bedroom for his afternoon siesta. After a long nap, he woke up with the dream of sweet payasam, and hoped his mother in law would offer the vermicelli dish during dinner. But it was not served for dinner. That night son in law went to bed thinking about the payasam. But he could not sleep, as the longing for the sweet dish grew more and more.
Finally when everyone in the family had gone to sleep , he tiptoed into the kitchen and started searching around for the pot of payasam in the darkness. The house cat also woke up came to kitchen watching the son in law snooping around searching among empty pots. Finally the son in law managed to get hold of the payasam pot, but Alas! very little vermicelli payasam was left right at the bottom of the pot. He tried to scoop it with his bare hands but he could hardly reach to the bottom. Out of desperation, he lifted and upturned the pot to pour the left over payasam into his mouth. At that moment the house cat jumped at him and the pot slipped over the son in law’s head. And his head got stuck in the pot.
Hearing the loud noises from the kitchen , mother in law woke up. Thinking some thieves have entered the house, she grabbed the stick and rushed towards the kitchen and the hit the man running away from her. She hit him hard on his head, breaking the earthen ware pot that had got stuck on the son in law’s head. Pot splintered into shreds. When mother in law saw it was her son in law in the kitchen, she guessed what must have happened. Being a smart woman, immediately grasped the situation and to prevent further embarrassing him, she told all the household who had woken up by then that the cat was trying to steal milk. It was son in law had tried to shoo her away with a stick and in the bargain the pot broke and he got leftover payasam on his face. She thus saved her son in law from embarrassment.
Next day the son in law got ready to leave for his home. The whole family bid him farewell by giving him gifts. As he approached his mother in law to bid farewell, she whispered in his ear “ Tell your wife to cook vermicelli payasam” . The son in law kept muttering the name of the dish so that he should not forget it before reaching home to his wife. On the way he had to to cross a river. The boatman refused to take him across the river as he had finished his duty for the day. “I have no choice than to swim across the river” thought Son in Law to himself. As he swam across the river he forgot the name he was muttering. All he could remember was last two syllabus “um”. When he reached home, his wife welcomed him and asked about her parents . But the son in law was too absorbed in the effort to recollect the name of the dish and blurted out, “My dear, Everybody is fine and your mother has asked me to tell you to prepare the “um” dish.
“Which dish ?” asked the wife.
“Um” replied son in law. Wife could not understand what he was asking for and as her confusion grew, the son in law got more and more frustrated. They started quarrelling loudly and the noise reached the ears of an elderly old woman who lived next door. She came to their house and tried to mediate between the husband and wife. The son in law complained about his obstinate wife was and how she was not heeding his request to prepare the “um” dish. The old woman tried to understand the problem and asked “ Son, how does this “um” dish looks like?’ Son in law gave her a detailed description of the dish and the old woman figured out that “um” is actually the sweet vermicelli payasam . She whispered the name of the dish in his wife’s ears and asked her to prepare the sweet dish that night.
The wife prepared vermicelli payasam that night and the son in law finally got to relish the dish to his heart’s content.
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Story collected by : Vidya Kamat
Text source: as her from grandmother Sitabai Panandiker
Location : Goa
Image Copyright: Vidya kamat
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